Sunday, August 07, 2005
Damn u computer!!!
I am so fucking pissed! Computer sialni kene virus!! There goes all my files.. All my songs and unfinished assignments! Aku sedih sey... Ade gamba2 preciousku that was send to my comp pki hpl.. And I cant get those pics back cos I lost my phone remember???
Depression is engulfing me. Everday I find myself sinking2 and sinking even deeper. The best part is that now i can no longer express my sadness. Maybe my heart is just too used to it now. Thus, u guys see me laugh, see me as a wacko yg tgh happy. Believe me, underneath all those laughter lives a hapless soul unable to do anytin as she's zapped of all her strengh.
I cant do anytin. Tried to study. Tried to finish assignments yg menimbun2 tapi otak akuni da mati agknye. Bodoh semacam!! Asal ah ngan aku???
I try to make myself happy. Cam tadi, ku sibuk2 time bdk2 bobal. Such priceless moments. Sure I was happy... sure I laughed with em all. But now as I type tis... My heart hurts!
I want to cry.. Let it all out but I simply cant anymore! It's like as if all my tears has dried up! Terpaksalah aku meyimpan sebak di dada sebab ia tidak boleh dikeluarkn melalui airmata!
Famili aku? Haizz... kadang2 akuni mcm tkder sape2 kat duniani. No shoulder to cry on. Ku da mls nk cite2 pat org. Yelah hidup akuni penuh duka jer... Orang pon naik jelak asik dgr cite same.. Situasi sama... Baik aku diam jer.
Mif said sometin that got me thinkin... Mmg aku tk nafikn tat I miss my secondary skul frens.. I miss sec 4.1! But above all, I miss a very dear fren of mine. A fren tat I once regarded as a best fren. True, it was destined that in the quest to seek knowledge, we had to go our separate ways but why must our frenship suffer the same fate? True, u may be busy... Me too!!! Tapi tkknlah u cant call me once in a while? Why cant u msg me or send me a forward msg like how I always do wen I miss u? Have u meet alot of fun frens over there that u simply discard of me?
In a moment where many of my frens start to think about separating with each other after the exams, I was already separated from many of my dear frens.. Shah, Jeff, Sherqa , Zack and many others have taken their own paths overseas. How I miss these ppl so much!!
But u my fren... we are still in the same country n yet it's like as if I no longer exist. I miss u so much but I guess u must be to busy to spare a thought about me... U are always remembered in my prayers my fren. I can only pray tat I'm remembered in urs!
Muka buruk aku keluar tv!! Baik bnr lah tu... Mesti bnyk org stop aku pat Haig Road bsk mintak autograph!
Where am I gonna find a red baju to wear to Ayu's bday?? Kakak akuni pon! Mati2 nk merah lau tk tkle masuk! Dresscodela katakan! Haiyahhhh!!!!
How am I gonna get through all this??
Help me pls...
plain&simple.
4:57 PM